BENZIE COUNTY, MI – Kelli Stapleton made a terrible choice last year when she tried to kill her violent, autistic daughter, Issy, by lighting charcoal grills as she and the then-14-year-old slept in the van during a supposed camping trip.

Did she do it out of desperation? Or, was she just tired of caring for a special-needs child?

Benzie County Circuit Judge James Batzer is expected to sentence Stapleton, 46, on Tuesday, Oct. 7, for first-degree child abuse.

He heard testimony on Monday, Oct. 6, from those who said Stapleton was overwhelmed by her daughter’s autism, which resulted in frequent, brutal assaults. Once, she was beaten unconscious while a younger daughter watched in horror.

There are others who think Stapleton, who has said she wanted to take both her daughter and herself to heaven, had no intention of killing herself, she just wanted to be rid of the troubled girl.

Then, there is 13-year-old Ainsley Stapleton, whose letter to the court was read by defense attorney Heidi Hodek.

She just wants her mom back.

She has missed her mother since the Sept. 3, 2013, carbon-monoxide poisoning in a remote area of Benzie County left her older sister, now 15, with permanent brain damage that affects her balance and motor skills.

“I know what my mom did isn’t forgivable but I understand what she’s going through.”

She said her sister can’t control herself. She said she has been targeted by her sister, but mostly, it was her mother that was beaten. Issy is strong, and “very aggressive … and she’s only getting stronger.”

She said that both her sister and mother “deserve to have a life” after being given a second chance by sheriff’s deputies who found them in a wooded area where her mother liked to run.

“I feel like they’re both victims in this situation,” she said.

“What happens to my mom?” she asked. “I miss her, we all miss her. But now what happens?”

Batzer is expected to hear from additional defense witnesses Tuesday morning. The defense hired a forensic psychologist who says Stapleton was legally insane, after years of beatings, when she tried to kill her daughter. Benzie County Prosecutor Sara Swanson will respond to the defense witnesses.

The judge said people across the country have weighed in on the issue. He said he has stacks and stacks of letters.

Kelli Stapleton’s supporters urged the judge to give leniency. Vicki Slater, a close friend and business partner in a dance company, said no one realized the strain her friend was under. She said Stapleton didn’t let on, but in retrospect, Slater believes she missed warning signs, particularly after Stapleton was knocked out and hospitalized.

"That was a major head trauma, that was a major event."

She said her friend did not obtain follow-up care. She recalled that Stapleton started to forget things, and frequently repeated herself.

“She clearly wasn’t OK,” Slater said. “Now, as I look back on it, I think it was very, very significant she did not get help after that. .... I just really blame myself for not speaking up, because that's what you do."

She said Stapleton used to tell her it wasn’t a question of if Issy would kill her, it was a question of when. Stapleton feared this mostly because she worried her daughter would be institutionalized if that happened.

Sandy Johnson, Kelli Stapleton’s stepmother, said Stapleton loves Issy.

She loves her younger daughter, too.

“Ainsley needs Kelli. Kelli needs Ainsley.”

She said that Stapleton didn’t always let on the troubled life she led. Kelli and Matt Stapleton, who is divorcing her, were considered the “perfect couple,” she said.

Richard Stieve, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church, said he would have no concerns if Kelli Stapleton were to be released now – except for her well-being because she is overwhelmed by guilt. He thinks she suffered brain injuries while being beaten by her daughter.

Whenever he hears anyone say Stapleton will get what she deserves, he thinks to himself: “Hasn’t Kelli already gotten what she deserves?”

He said he, too, should have seen warning signs.

“If we were merciful, we would get Kelli some help, and we would take care of Issy,” he said.

But family members of Matt Stapleton said they were outraged that Kelli Stapleton, who appeared on “The Dr. Phil Show,” has portrayed herself as a victim.

Sarah Ross, an aunt to Issy, said that no matter what Stapleton went through, seeing Issy in the hospital, in a coma with ashes on her face, her hair stinking of lighter fluid, was far worse. She was on life support. Doctors told Matt Stapleton to start considering his options.

“Devastating is losing a child,” she said.

She and others maintained that Kelli Stapleton was receiving significant help, and had a waiver through Community Mental Health for care providers. Issy had also spent nearly eight months at a residential treatment center before the poisoning happened and was doing better.

“She claims to be the victim. A mother’s supposed to protect,” Ross said. She said Stapleton didn’t want the “burden of an autistic child.”

She said Stapleton plotted the “diabolical” attempted killing. She had to buy two grills, charcoal and lighter fluid at the store. They didn’t have those items at home.

“Issy trusted her mother that day,” Ross said.

She said Issy, who started breathing on her own after she was taken off a ventilator, has made a remarkable recovery.

"She doesn't understand what happened, or at least we can't tell if she understands... because she's different …,” she said.

Eileen Stapleton, Issy’s grandmother, had harsh words for Kelli Stapleton. She said she has kept quiet for the past year but now needed to speak for Issy.

She wondered if Issy’s violence toward her mother wasn’t justified.

“People like Kelli want people like me to keep quiet and I will not. I’m speaking for Issy today.” She said Kelli, in the TV interview, didn’t talk about her “unbridled freedom” while Issy was in treatment, at school, or in care of aides.

She said Stapleton was busy with a blog, writing books and traveling, including a month stay in Africa.

She called Issy the “perfect victim” because she would not tell anyone if something bad happened. She said Issy did well in treatment.

“The truth is, Kelli didn’t want Issy anymore. She made it look like it was unselfish and loving, but it was not unselfish and loving.”

She said raising special-needs children is demanding, but said the “alleged suicide” attempt was only another try at gaining sympathy.

“If she wanted to kill herself, she would be dead. She loves herself too much.”

She also told the judge that Issy is a smart, funny, entertaining and loving girl. She was upset by the way her granddaughter has been portrayed.

“She is not a monster. She is not perfect, but she is not a monster.