Angie.....Since this page appears to be the way you currently prefer to communicate, This is a new section I'm adding where I will say what's going on in my mind. I will be adding content to this area as I think of it, there is too much I want to say to spill it all out in one session.

Current Status

If someone is afraid of me — even if I know I mean no harm — the Bible generally encourages patience, gentleness, respect for the other person's boundaries.

Proverbs 15:1
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger."

Proverbs 25:15
"By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone."

Romans 12:18
"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men."

Only I can control my own conduct. Whether another person trusts me is ultimately their decision. Sometimes giving someone space is wiser than trying to resolve the situation immediately. Well Angie, I have given you TONS of space - years of it. But if I were you I would keep my distance and wait until I was 100% sure that John had achieved neurotypicality.

You have clearly indicated that you do not want further contact, and continue to express fear despite my peaceful intentions. Therefore, the most loving and biblically consistent course for me is to respect your boundaries. Doing so demonstrates kindness and concern for your well-being, even if it means accepting that you will never agree to be my friend in any form.

That approach encourages looking not only to my own interests, but also to yours. Even if I believe you have misunderstood me, honoring your wishes can be an expression of Christian humility and love.

First off, I missed your last performance because that was the week that I was in Slovakia undergoing the FMT procedure. Apologies for that.

Last night, I followed your instructions. I stayed 6 seats back from the performance area, which, when counting seats at tables, put me where I sat last night. I didn't bother you during your break and I stayed completely out of sight during your performance. The only time I had to enter the performance area was to pay you, than I ran back out of sight and out of the venue. I was in a rush because I had to meet someone between 8 and 8:15. So I sincerely hope that where I sat and what I did was satisfactory. But in my opinion all of that was completely unnecessary. I have no thought of harming you in any way whatsoever. All I have EVER wanted was to keep you in the loop as to my progress in my attempt to reach neurotypicality, and after reaching it, be one of your acquaintances. That's it. Why? because we have a lot in common, and I would like an acquaintance to talk to every once and awhile, for opinions, input, advice. And in return, maybe help perform an odd job every once and awhile.

I have returned from the IPPM, and am now in post-procedure therapy. That involves taking a pill once per day early in the morning for 2 months. If it works, it will remove half of my remaining autistic symptoms. That will be a dramatic positive change, allowing me to move forward in both my professional and personal lives. Depending on the person, it can take several weeks to several months for results to appear.

If successfull, the FMT will allow me to survive until the MTT comes out, due in about 3 years. It has a better than even chance of removing all remaining autistic symptoms. Learn more here.

Apologies

First of all, apologies for my behavior the night of 3-27-26 at the Extreme Bean. I had a lot on my mind, what with the looming prospect of me taking on administration of SRP's entire analytics stack, containing power generation equipment configuration data, the then upcoming trip I was preparing for (to the IPPM in Slovakia), dealing with the boss from hell.

You came into my life just a bit too early - but I'm glad you did. :)

Your fears

So when I saw you come in to the Bean that night, I saw that look on your face like, oh no it's that stalker again. I don't know what else I can do to alleviate your fears that I am a stalker, that I am a fringe whackjob....apparently just remaining your biggest fan until I'm prepared is not enough.I wouldn't even think of invading your privacy without your permission, nor harm you in any way. Admittedly, I have a very challenging life, being an autistic with no local family, no friends, and having to do everything by myself. But hey, I planned and executed the trip to Slovakia, by myself without help, flew halfway around the world, underwent a risky procedure. If it works, and the FMT removes half of my remaining autistic symptoms, the results will be very apparent.

Look, I have been an IT professional for nearly 40 years. If I wanted to, I could use my skills to find out EVERYTHING about you. But I won't without your permission, and also I am now a system administrator and have a reputation to uphold.

A little about me

I am 69 years old, a divorcee, and was born and raised in the Pacific Northwest. I graduated from Roosevelt High School in Seattle in 1975. I am religious, attending church twice a week. I was a programmer analyst at Boeing for 16 years, maintaining such systems as Boeing's SAS platform for managing surplus parts, and a kitting designer application used to manage standards parts kits for the wide body aircraft final assembly lines. I possess dual BS degrees in Data Engineering and Geography from Arizona State University, and a MS in spatial data engineering from NAU in flagstaff. I've been working on the SRP contract for nearly 7 years as a data engineer and system administrator. I've lived in the Phoenix area since 2007.

We have a lot in common

How I would like it to go (If the procedure works and if I get the chance)

Slowly. Get to know each other. Start as casual friends, then good friends, then besties - then consider going further.

My thoughts on strong alpha females

Admittedly, they are a greater challenge for their partners. However, their partners gain massive benefits. The scriptures imply that God prefers that men partner with alpha females, for this reason:

I have done research on many super achieving men throughout history, from Phoenician kings to US presidents to rock stars to great military leaders - most all of them had a lady beside them, advising, encouraging, supporting, loving - giving swift kicks when necessary ;)

For example, take Winston Churchill. As prime minister of Britain, he had to face arguably the first major all-air operation in history by Nazi Germany. Fortunately, he had Clementine by his side.

Stay tuned...

...More to come.

(sung to the tune of "Got My Mind Set On You", by George Harrison)

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

But it's gonna take-a-cure
A spe-cial autism cure
It's gonna take plenty of practice
To do it right now

It's gonna take time
A Whole lot of precious time
It's gonna take patience and ti-ime
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

And this time I know it's real
The feelings that I feel
I know if I put my mind to it
I know that I can really do it

I got my mind set on you
Set on you
I got my mind set on you
Set on you

But it's gonna take money
Whole lotta spendin' money
It's gonna take plenty of money
To do it right now

It's gonna take time
Whole lot of precious time
It's gonna take patience and time
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right

I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you
I got my mind set on you

And this time I know it's real
The feelings that I feel
I know if I put my mind to it
I know that I can really do it

But it's gonna take mu-sic
A whole lotta show of music
I'll need to nail the music
To do it right now

and-It's gonna take time
A whole lot of precious time
It's gonna take patience and time
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right

Set on you
Set on you
Set on you
Set on you
...

(response to the tune of "I Chase You Run", by Anjanette Indelicato)

(sung to the tune of "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You", by Led Zeppelin)

Babe, baby, baby, I've got to get cured first

I said baby, I got to head to Slovakia

When the summertime, when the summer comes a-rolli-n'

When the summer comes along

Babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, baby Baby, I got to get cured first I ain't jokin', woman, I've got an appointment Oh yeah Baby, baby, I be cured first And several other things I gotta drop some baggage before I meet you

I gotta prove I'm worth your effort

chorus

I know, I know, I know you wanna meet but not like this

I cannot live like I do anymore

chorus

Oh, woman, woman, I know, I know Once the baggage is gone it'll really gonna grow, yes, it will

We gonna go walkin' through the park every day

Come what may, every day
Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my babe

I've got some dues to pay

So good, see, baby It will be really, really good I will make you happy every single day

But right now, I must be cured

chorus

(sung to the tune of "Rocket Man", by Elton John)

[Verse 1]
My bags are packed
For a timeless flight
Zero hour 8 AM
And I'm gonna be high
As a kite by then

[Chorus]
And I think it's gonna be a shorter time
Touchdown will bring me round again to find
I won't be the man I use to be at all oh no no no
I'll be normal
Yes I'll be normal
With a future as big and as bright as the dawn

[Verse 2]
Autism aint the way to be
In fact its lonely as hell
And my potential is lower than it really could be
And I work for a tyrant that doesn't understand
It's just his job 5 days a week
A rotten man
A rotten man

[Chorus]
And I think it's gonna be a shorter time
Touchdown will bring me round again to find
I won't be the man I use to be at all oh no no no
I'll be normal
Yes I'll be normal
With a future as big and as bright as the dawn

(sung to the tune of "Your Song", by Elton John)

[Verse 1]
It's a little bit funny
This feelin' inside
I'm one of those ... who can easily hide
I don't have much money, but boy, if I did
I'd take us to Nepal ... to-the-base-camp-of-Everest

[Verse 2]
If-I-was-a-potter like dad, heh
But then again, no
Or a pro skier, ... out in the snow
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do
My gift is the lyrics-to-this song ... inspired by you

[Verse 3]
So excuse me for forgettin'
Where you'll play next
You see, I've forgotten
The next line of text
Anyway, the thing is
What I really mean
Yours are the bluest eyes I've ever seen

[Chorus]
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple, but
Now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
While you're in my world

(sung to the tune of "She's So High", by Tal Bachman)

[Verse 1]
She performs all alone
I have her all my own
Her voice is like a song bird
But shes an alpha lady as strong as teakwood
Until I've got the cure so I can treat her like I should

[Verse 2]
First class and fancy-free
She's got a master's degree
She's got a house in south Chandler
In my current state I have nothing to offer
But after I am cured I will treat her like she deserves

[Verse 3]
She comes to chat with me
Be honest and just be me
Tell her what I'll become when I'm cured
'Cause what she wants to see is confidence and an equal
′Just take it step by step and I will have her forever

[Chorus]
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Da-da-da-da
She's so high, high above me

(Sung to the chorus of "Last Kiss", by Pearl Jam)

Oh where oh where can my baby be
all-the-other-girls have rings on their pinkies
Or they're gay or they're happily divorced
I think I'll just hafta mooove...to New York

(sung to the tune of "The Last Worthless Evening", by Don Henley)

I know you broke up with him
A messy divorce
It's been over three years for me
And I'm still not quite myself
You can't be with someone new
And you can't go back to him
You're beginning to realize
That it's sink or swim

I see you perform sometimes
And my heart just melts
You're lookin' like if you had your wish
You'd be somewhere else
And it just breaks my heart
To see you there that way
After I come back from the cure
I'll walk up to you and say

This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just have some patience
And I'll show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
'Cause I'll be there
When your broken heart is on the mend

Every night it's the same old crowd
At the bean
You catch a faint glimpse of me
But im not ready yet
I've been around this block a time or two
And I've made some big mistakes
But after im cured, I promise you

It will be the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
Just have some patience
And I'll show you how to love again
This is the last worthless evening
That you'll have to spend
'Cause it won't be long
'Till your little heart is on the mend

(sung to the tune of "Reason", by Hoobastank)

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I could've done
But I will continue improving
I will become the man that you deserve

So I have to say before I fly away
That I just want you to know
I've got a reason for me
To reach neurotypicality

A reason to start over new
And that reason is you

I'm sorry that I avoid you
And won't even play the game

And the mistake last year at the bean
I wish that I could take that away
And be the one who speaks your name
That's why I need you to see

You've found a reason for me
To change what I used to be

A reason to start over new
And that reason is me

(sung to the tune of "Wind of Change", by The Scorpions)

Chorus

Take me back
To the magic of the moment
When I met Janette
At the front door of the clinic
To prepare
For the wind of change